settling

I never would of thought that I would have ever settle. I mean I use to rant and rave how I would only date a person who was on my list. It's funny as you get older you see more and more that list of yours doesn't really work in real life. I thought by the time I was 24 I would have close to a husband and things would be great. well that was a bust I just turned 24 last week and I look around and all the guys I have in my life I would never want them in my life. They are all not for me. I started looking at my list of all the qualities that I ever wanted in a person and realized I have never even gotten anything close to my list. my grandpa always use to say that the people we get in our lives are actually us, and as we grow we get a person who is more like us, and these people are here to show us the things that we need to fix about ourselves. I think over my 24 years of living that I have fixed alot about myself. But maybe God seems to think different. Anywho I realized that I stopped trying the other night I was talking to this guy that I would never talk too. he was way shorter than I liked he had a child, was getting a divorced and most of all he was unstabled. I guess I got tired of trying to find that "perfect" guy I feel like he doesn't exist and to be honest I am tired of finding out. I am tired of all of these guys that I get and I am tired of trying to weed out all the bad ones. I thought that once I reached a certain level I would be able to find that special person and we would love and grow together I guess I was dreaming and love is more survival of the fittest and I feel like I am about to get kicked off the island. I don't want to settle but I don't want to wonder if true love will ever come my way... I guess I am lost in this world of love and dying to be loved... Signing off the person who almost settled